time for a skirt...

gosh, what is that faggot person whose sexual orientation differs from mine writing? skirts?
yes, indeed, skirts. though not just any skirt, a manly skirt. a kilt. manly and masculine
but why in the world would someone wear a kilt?
that is a good question, kind sir. but the answer is just as well, if not even better.

my brother is getting married this weekend. and for whatever reason, he decided it would be great if all the guys would wear manly skirts. so, as i'm being a member of the family, of course i have to obey to the dress code. besides, the longer i think about it, the mire i like the idea of wearing a skirt kilt. don't ask me why.

however, this is a very expensive joy (just like visiting YOUR mother at her workplace). driving 200km (one way) to the next shop that offers custom-tailored kilts (because none of the standard sizes fits me), which are quite expensive, too (€ 450, just for the kilt, thats $ 632.47 for the americunts and £392.52 for the britfags).

i've never been a fashion whore (guess that explains why i always wear such hideous casual clothes..), but i feel that this is money well-spent.

greetings from the waterpistol

incre-fucking-dible

wow, a whole week without a post. yeah i know, i've neglected this thing for some time. personal reasons n stuff. i could now fill this entire post about spring and spring fever and how it sucks 'n stuff. but that would make me sound like an emo which i am, and i guess nobody would want to hear that anyway.

however, t here is one other topic which can fill this post, and those guys who read my previous brain farts literally highly valuable publications can already guess the topic.
yeah, it's about music. gosh, big surprise!

however, there is this special song, of this specific band, that demands our unshared attention. no, it's not from rosetta (this time), it's from the ocean. and the song we're talking about is named "Stenian: Mount Sorrow"

yes, ladies and djentlemen, this is the song from the ocean. i have yet to hear a better song from them (which is, considering the direction they've taken with their two latest releases, not going to happen too soon, imo).

nevertheless, this song is incredibly epic (like the whole album, precambrian is a fucking masterpiece) and deserves to be amongst the top 5 of every decent music lover. just give it a try, you'll love those shouts (and if you don't, please die roll yourself up in a corner of the room and weep quietly).

that's it for today, and if you dont love that song i'm going to skullfuck you while you sleep, it's your own fault

greetings from the waterpistol

weekend'n'stuff

yay, friday night. almost saturday, to be (not quite) accurate. friday 13th, always a "special" date, where the retarded superstitious folks are especially retarded superstitious. luckily (hah, oh the irony), i'm a person devoted to faggotry reason and therefore couldn't care less what date it is.

though, that's not all true. because tomorrow , 14th of may, is an anniversary. the curious reader now might ask "what kind of anniversary is this? please tell us, you bastard dear mr. internet guy".

i will, but only because you've asked so nicely


(by this time) today, exactly a year ago, was the first time i ever heard rosetta. that is so FUCKING AWESOME I'M WRITING IN CAPS LIKE A DOUCHEBAG. when i'm taking a look at my top albums for the past year, (according to last.fm) number 1, the 2nd place and the bronze medal go to rosetta, which equals (coincidently, no doubt) the exact number of full length-albums they've released so far. astonishing, huh?

i guess, some of you now even want me to die in a fire publish the exact numbers, huh? well, you wish and i obey (keep that moment in memory, that won't happen that soon again):

1. Rosetta - A Determinism of Morality                  Play-count: 1,478
2. Rosetta - The Galilean Satellites                        Play-count: 1,158
3. Rosetta - Wake/Lift                                             Play-count: 724

plays on mobile devices (i.e. mp3-players) are NOT included, which would probably double this figures.

the rest of the top 5, big surprise following the first 3:

4 . CompulsorySkin - NakedToTheBones                Play-count: 645

this album is a real gem, coming from the berlin-based multi talent PiaPale, recording the album completely on her own (and got into huge debts to do so, btw, so please actually buy her records)

5. The Ocean - Precambrian                                    Play - count: 637

this is no surprise, though it was obviously a close call with NakedToTheBones.

for completionists, the remaining 5 to fill the top10:

6. Red Sparowes - Every red Heart shines towards the Sun
7. Isis - Oceanic
8. Isis - Panopticon
9. Cult of Luna - Salvation
10 . Neurosis - A Sun that never sets

as you can see, this charts are dominated by post-metal, which is a very good thing. every single record in this list has an unconditional recommendation to buy (and i actually mean buy, pirating music from these artists is a complete no-go. whoever does that should die in a fire reconsider his attitude and most definitely quit reading my blog).

with that in mind

greetings from the waterpistol

the desperate search for a topic...

and how useless and futile it is in the end, because eventually the topic will sneak itself into the abyss i call my mind.

wow, a 4-day old blog and 4 posts, which statistically means i've posted one post each day. incredible! however, don't expect i'll keep this pace up once the initial fascination with annoying the internet writing a blog wears off. nevermind, now, regarding to the topic:

i'm bored again. bored and sleepless. this has one good side however: it's night, and because of the awesome temperatures (yes, i consider 7° quite awesome (44°Fahrenheit, for the americunts)), i could, for the first time this year, take a proper look at the night sky. what a wonderful view! looking at the stars always calms me down (which is maybe an explanation for the lack of foul language of this post so far...)

i though you might be interested in some fun facts:

• the sun is aprox. 150,000,000km (93mil miles) away. this is one "astronomical unit (AU)" it takes the light aprox. 8.3 minutes to get from the sun to the earth (a little reminder: speed of light in vacuum = 299,792,458 meters/second).  
• 
  the sun is the brightest object on the sky (my grasp of the obvious is truly astonishing) with an apparent magnitude of -26,74mag (the lower the number the brighter the object. Vega has an apparent magnitude of + 0.03 and was originally chosen as the definition for the zero point of this scale. so much for precision, yay!)  
• 
  the farthest man-made object from earth is the probe Voyager-1, launched in late 1977. it's currently 17.4 billion km (=10.8 bil miles) away in the so-called heliopause. it's still responding to commands from earth (and even executing them, cool!), and is considered one of NASA's greatest accomplishments  
• 
  Polaris (or pole star, north star) is NOT the brightest star in the northern hemisphere. this award goes to sirius (also the brightest visible star overall) with an apparent magnitude of -1.47
  even with near-perfect circumstances (minimum of light pollution, new moon, absolutely no clouds), nowadays only aprox. 6,000 objects are visible on the night-sky with bare eyes (all these objects haven an apparent magnitude of 6 or lower, which is apparently the visual limit for the bare eye)  
• 
  modern (earthbound) astro-photography has a capacity of capturing objects up to +25mag (which equals a lit candle on the moon). the hubble ultra deep field managed to capture images of galaxies with an apparent magnitude of +29. said galaxies are estimated to be aprox. 13 billion light years away (which means they are also 13 billion years old, and thus the oldest objects ever viewed by man) 
• 
  the closest star to our solar system is Proxima Centauri, 4.2 light years away (that makes for 39 trillion km (=24.2 trillion miles), or 1.3 parsecs (=26,800 AU)  
• 
  the biggest known measurable star, VY Canis Majoris, is aprox. 1,800-2,100 solar radii. if it was placed instead of our sun, it's surface would stretch to the orbit of saturn. an airplane with the speed of 800 km/h (=497 mph) would take 356 years to cross Canis Majoris' diameter (aside from the fact that said airplane couldn't accomplish that feat for countless reasons, one being the INCREDIBLE HEAT, or the COMPLETE ABSENCE of oxygen to power its machines. but most of you are just too stupid bound by conventional ways of thinking to understand that, was it not for such comparisons)
  
  astronomy, awesome! i also highly recommend this video, i daresay that this is one of the most important videos on the whole interwebs.
  
  
  with that in mind, please try not to forget that shit (which will happen eventually considering the capacity of your brains immense data overflow that could prove difficult to handle at once). it's kinda useful to annoy your average physics teacher
  
  greetings from the waterpistol

urban dictionary is always right

today i typed the word "asshole" into the urban dictionary-search. don't ask me why, probably because i was an unproductive shithead bored at work.

the result of this inquiry is so short and simple in shape, yet it wields the truth like a relentless executioner wields his axe. so now, without any further ado, i'll present to you the #1, uppermost result of the search for the word "asshole":

Your current boss.

ladies and gentlemen, this is the most true answer to any inquiry i've ever heard, more true than 299,792.458 km/s for the question 'what is the speed of light in vacuum?'

now, inb4 "that retard nice gentleman is going to bitch about his stupid boss and how much he hates his job!" - yes, i'm going to do exactly that. but that guy had it coming. seriously, someone who names his kids Adolf and Eva should really be considered a menace to society, or at least to his kids. and of course to his poor, innocent, good looking employees.

but rejoice! i have a feeling that some time in the near future, i someone is going to put an end to the misery he calls his life tell him to crawl back into the bottomless pit of morons he came from (depending on the situation, maybe with exactly these words).

with this in mind

greetings from the waterpistol


P.S.: yeah i know, that's a damn short post. but i',m tired, and writing this without any typos was a murderous challenge due to various alcoholic beverages circulating through my body


P.P.S.: you guys might wanna check out Untimely Meditations, a blog from a friend of mine, the same guy who painted the background picture for my blog. might also wanna check out his deviantART. if you don't do you're going to get raped and choked to death miss out on a great blog and really awesome art

this post is about people...

...and how much i hate them! well, of course a certain misanthropic world view is never a bad thing, but this post is dedicated to a very special kind of retards mentally challenged beings:

people that talk during concerts

i mean, seriously, what the fuck? who buys a ticket to see a band and then talks through the entire gig? could please someone explain to me how the gaping bottomless pits brains of these people are working? if there is any logic behind this behaviour, science has yet failed to deliver proof of it's existence.
those retards ruined so many shows for me, the most important one being godspeed you! black emperor. halfway through the gig (which was, apart from mentioned persons with logorrhea, quite an awesome experience) i had to leave, which i blame on those guys (though the real reason was that i had to catch a ride home, again, public transport sucks! but who cares about real reasons anyway...)

this incident just fueled my utter despise of humanity as a whole (yes, kind sir, i despise YOU as well!) and i kinda promised myself to never see a popular band again. on the other hand, i also promised myself to lose weight and to go on a murderous rampage try and make people rethink their doings, but as so often, i give a fuck about what i promised myself. besides, c'mon you can't just ignore THE sludge-band coming to your town for the first time in...forever, and probably your last chance of seeing them...

anyways, i just wanted to tell you how much i hate every single one of you (especially the ones who talk during concerts! yes, you know who i mean!), and rest assured that if i ever get the chance to push some red button (or whatever color the button for a nuclear holocaust has), i'll not hesitate to do so

with this in mind

greetings from the waterpistol

this is gonna be a summer...

I know, people will accuse me of grossly exaggerated fanboyism (is that even a word?), but nevertheless,

this summer is going to be HUGE

three of my favorite bands are coming to town, in June that's The Ocean, and in July we have Rosetta and Neurosis.

can't fucking wait!

seeing the ocean live is somewhat of a next to impossible thing. i went to one of their concerts three years ago, but the support bands (bison b.c. and burst, both of which turned out to be quite okay) took so long that after 30 seconds into the ocean, i had to leave the venue to get home. public transport during the week sucks ass!

so last year, they played like three or four shows here, none of which i could see for various reasons. one of them being a A Storm of Light-gig on the same day, and with my brother going to this show there was not much choice left (mainly because i had to stay at his place for the night, and back then i had no idea how to get there). but rest assured, that show was really worth the trade-off.

nevertheless, this year i'm finally going to see the ocean, tickets already bought, and really looking forward to the 8th of june!

when i heard that neurosis are venturing beyond the pond i was truly stunned. my first reaction was disbelief, my second was to frantically jump around cheering (which got me some really weird looks from random bystanders, but, well, screw them!). with isis disbanded just a few months after i've gotten into them, i was afraid, if not to say terrified that neurosis may be next. fortunately, it turns out i'm just a superstitious idiot and i can see THE sludge band, which i'm sure is going to be awesome. as long as peeps in the audience keep their mouths shut (which already ruined godspeed you! black emperor for me. why the fuck can't those retards just enjoy the show?)

the gig i'm definitely most looking forward to going to is Rosetta. heard of this band only a year ago, but it was love at first sight (or listen?) my reaction to them announcing a tour over here wasn't anything like when i learned about neurosis coming here. it was more a strong "is that really, really happening?"-feeling, mixed with overwhelming doses of endorphines, which left me a drooling, babbling idiot (not much difference to my usual state, then). i really hope it's going to be an intimate show, with armine really interacting with the crowd (i hope there won't really be a crowd, the fewer people the better!) i'm already (or still) pretty excited about this, and i can't make up my mind which songs i'd like to hear. for sure i only know revolve (the first rosetta song i ever knowingly heard) and a determinism of morality, both from the ingenious and truly touching latest release (to which the latter is the title song). needless to say i'm going to buy a shitload of merch from them, so they'll come home fiscally even, at least (which is in no way granted for bands like rosetta).

and who knows, maybe they'll remember that crazy, long haired dude with the crappy jokes and the "the beer for the band goes on me" -attitude.

with this in mind,

thanks for wasting your time reading this shit ;)

greetings from the waterpistol